The Cosmic Hobo's ABCs

A is for Absurd

He was shorter, wearing long, baggy clothing, a silly tall hat over a silly head of black hair.

Ben shook his head. He was convinced this man was the Doctor… but did he have to look so absurd?


B is for Bored

When he told Zoë he left Gallifrey because he was bored, he told only part of the truth.

What he didn't mention was that the image of his wife's dead, cold body still filled his nightmares.


C is for Crumbs

He actually didn't know why he started saying it. It just became a habit.



D is for Dalek

He was playing trains with his enemies, laughing all the way. Even Jamie joined in, holding on to one of the Pepper Pots. Alpha, Beta, and Omega laughed (a strange noise, actually), saying "Choo-Choo!"


E is for Ecstatic

"Splendid!" the Doctor shouted, clapping his hands and hopping up and down. Polly laughed; despite his age, he could act just like a small child.


F is for Fun

"Just think of it!" he shouted, his blue eyes filled with glee, "All those inventions, mine for the testing!"

Victoria rolled her eyes. "We could be here for hours," she muttered as they walked into the room. Jamie's eyes widened at the sight of all the technological equipment.

"More like days," he sighed as the Doctor, giggling like a school boy, ran to test one of the silver machines.



G is for Good

"Thank you," the woman said, her two mouths smiling. The Doctor happily shook her third hand.

"Always a pleasure to help!" he grinned. "Now, Polly, Ben, Jamie, I think we should start to look for the TARDIS now."

As he walked away, the woman pulled Ben aside. "That Doctor of yours is a good man," she said. "A very good man."

Ben smiled. "You can say that again."

Not understanding the phrase, she repeated herself.



H is for Hobo

"Calm down lad," the Policeman said. "Now, tell me who saved you from this… monster."

The young boy, looking back to the alleyway where the Police Box had stood only seconds before, gulped. "He looked like a hobo sir… a little hobo…"



I is for Intellect

"So, exactly who is that little man?" the scientist asked his companion, keeping a close eye on the man that darter throughout the laboratory, studying the screens.

"He calls himself a doctor," the other said. "I think we should trust him. He managed to fix the coffee machine."

The other turned to him. "I thought the burner had melted to the circuit board."

A smile. "Exactly."


J is for Jamie

"If ye want to get to the Doctor, ye'll have to get through me first!" the Highlander shouted, brandishing his knife. The alien creature's cyclopean eye blinked.

"Your loyalty to the short one is admirable," it droned, a cold voice slipping through it's pinchers. "He undoubtedly holds you highly."

The Doctor nodded. "Indeed I do."



K is for Kick

The Doctor grimaced as the security robot toppled down the staircase, losing pasts with every clang and bang.

"I guess I don't know my own leg strength."


L is for Love

Zoë held back tears as she watched them march the Doctor towards the execution area. She wondered is she would be strong enough to watch them kill the man whom she loved like a father… more like a favorite uncle. She was sure she wouldn't be.


M is for More

The Doctor couldn't contain his enthusiasm. It wasn't everyday he encountered a species which liked his recorder playing.

"Do I hear call for an encore?" he asked. Jamie, his finger stuck in his ears, groaned while the audience shouted for more.


N is for Never

"You will surrender!" the Dalek shouted, the iris of it's eyepiece focusing on the Doctor.

He stood defiantly, his small stature suddenly not so silly or humorous. "Never," he whispered, his eyes staring directly into the Dalek's eyestalk.


O is for Ostrich

"Help!" Jamie shouted as the giant bird chased him, the Doctor, at a safe distance, laughing hysterically.


P is for Polly

The Doctor gave a small smile as she forced a cup of coffee between his hands. Whenever she felt useless, she went and made coffee. She always wanted to be helpful.


Q is for Quack

"I don't think you have any idea what you're doing!" Jamie shouted, gasping in pain as the Doctor tried to set his broken leg.

"Of course I do!" the Doctor yelled back, trying to inject the needle of numbing medication.

"Are you even a Doctor of medicine?"

"Well… I read a book…"


R is for Righteous

Victoria couldn't help but grin when she found the book in the alien library. Apparently, during a terrible civil war, a righteous and noble figure descended from the stars and saved the planet.

Naturally, his vessel had been a wooden blue box.


S is for Sleep

Jamie was snoring softly, the Doctor's arm wrapped around him. Victoria nestled into his large fur coat, her breathing quiet. The Doctor smiled; he enjoyed seeing them so at peace. True, he would prefer to not be in a cave in the middle of a blizzard, but…


T is for TARDIS

He felt the regeneration hadn't gone to bad. He was rather pleased at how he turned out. But he wanted another opinion.

"What do you think?" he asked aloud. "Speak up, and be honest."

He smiled as his beloved machine hummed pleasantly.


U is for Utopia

"Our world is perfect," the emotionless drone said. "A perfect world."

"There's no such thing," the Doctor grumbled before going on a search to uncover the evil he knew lurked beneath the paradise.


V is for Victoria

The Doctor reached out, trying to grab the hand that was just centimeters out of reach.

"Don't be afraid Victoria!" he shouted, hoping the ledge she was standing on didn't fall into the ocean below.

"I'm not!" she shouted back, giving a weak smile. "You're going to save me. I know it."


W is for Waltz

She laughed loudly as the Doctor spun her in a waltz, keeping in time to the music.

"Think we can teach Jamie?" he asked, noticing the Highlander sulking in the corner.

"Nothing's impossible," she replied.



X is for Xylophone

Zoë stared at the thing, her expression puzzled.

"So, you can play the recorder and… that?"

"Well, I can also play the kazoo…"


Y is for Yeti

The Doctor examined himself in the mirror, his fur coat making him twice as big.

"Hmm… maybe it wasn't so hard to confuse me with the Yeti," he muttered.


Z is for Zoë

"But what is the purpose?" she demanded.

"There is no purpose, it's just for fun," he replied.

Zoë sighed and reluctantly stuck her fingers in the paint and began to drag them across the canvass.

The Doctor smiled. He would break her of her strict, computer like mind yet.