The Nightmare Factory

The Nightmare Factory
     Welcome! It is truly an honor to have you here, you will not regret being promoted up here, blah, blah, blah. I always hate the 'good boss' routine. Now that you are here, you need to now that this job is: (a) not easy, (b) not safe, and (c) not all it's cracked up to be. It can, however, be fun.  As the chairman, I must show you around. You may call me anything you want for now. After this, I am only to be called "Sir." If that is understood, then we will get along fine.
     You work here, in the Formation stage. Your desk is that nice one with the little toy cactus on it. If you accidentally cut it on and it starts singing, your cubicle neighbor might eat you. That's actually how your spot opened up.
     Your neighbor's name is Andy. At least, that's what we call him. His actual name cannot be said without anyone's vocal cords bursting into flames. He normally won't bother you, the cactus thing as the exception. You may want to look out for that third eye of his, the one on the back of his head, however. It often looks at everyone like it's hungry.
     If there's anyone here you may like, it's Nick. He's the one in that cubicle, the one with the spider webs attached. Don't ask why he always wears that hood and cloak. He gets a little emotional about it. Just introduce yourself, and he will most likely come to like you. He may ask for your opinion on his work; he does a great job, but he's a little self conscious.
     All refreshments are handed out by Beatrice. She's the thing with two heads. The left one is nice; she will offer you coffee and what not. The right one will try to bite your nose off. Don't talk to her.
     Everyone else here is unimportant. They do their work, they go home, and some only live for three days. So don't be surprised if one of them suddenly dissolves or implodes. It's life. You, Nick, Andy, and Beatrice are the only ones that will be here… well we'll see if you stay.     
     When you sit at this desk, you need to begin immediately. Just think of the plot, details, and characters, type them, and send them to the Evaluation department. They will decide if it is scary or sad enough. I suggest that you mainly stick to scary, unless you're in a bad mood. The Evaluation team doesn't like too many "wake up crying" works.
     If your nightmare passes, then it's taken to the Construction department. They will build it and send it back to you. If you don't like it, you can either: send it back with corrections or ask me to vaporize the idiot who messed it up. You can only do the latter three times. It's a privilege. If you do like it, send it to Shipment. They will send to whoever is next on the list. On worker-appreciation day, you can even choose the victim yourself.
     You are required to make at least six nightmares a day. You can make them cliché, repetitive, or quick, but they must be scary. Or sad. You can of course do both, but as I said, do mostly scary.
     If you fall behind in work you will be warned. After that warning comes a punishment. After that comes vaporization. Sorry, but those are the rules. So don't fall behind.
     In the middle of the day, you may socialize. Talk to Nick or the left head of Beatrice. You may talk to the others but don't establish a good relationship. Remember, they will implode one day. Lunch is at thirteen o'clock. We serve sandwiches and soup in the lounge, the room down the hall. Don't ask what's in them, or you may have a part suddenly missing. Beatrice's right head is very proud of them.
     When you go home, you are not to tell anyone about us. As far as everyone else knows, we are just a worn down office building in the ghetto of Chicago. If anyone actually believed you, they would see it as an opportunity to get rid of nightmares forever. And we can't have that.
     As the only human, or at least humanoid, here, you need not worry about disguises when you go out into the human world. If you ever want to take Nick with you, as I see you two becoming great friends, make sure his hood covers his entire face. I mean, it does anyway, but make sure. We may not know what's under there, but it's better to assume it's something abnormal by human standards.
     If you ever have any questions, come to me. My office is there. The door with the big "BOSS" on it. If you ever come in, don't be intimidated by the photos of my past. Sett, Hades, Grim, all those. I'm really not that scary. Just the chairman of the largest Nightmare Factory in twelve dimensions. Oh yes, there is casual Thursday on February 31st. Don't wear anything too casual; you might start to look tasty to Andy. Come back tomorrow ready for work. And remember… you call me "Sir". You understand? Good.